Weekend round up 1st October 2023

🥊 Welcome to Cage Chronicle's 🥋

Get ready for a knockout dose of humor in the world of mixed martial arts! This week, we've got Cedric Doumbe's lightning-speed 9-second KO – it's so fast, even the sloth from Zootopia would be impressed! And of course, the Canelo Alvarez vs. Jermell Charlo showdown - Stay tuned for giggles, gags, and grapples in "Cage Chronicle's" – where laughter reigns supreme in the octagon! 👊💥

Cedric Doumbe's PFL debut was straight out of a movie script. 🎥 

former kickboxing champ from France didn't just dip his toes into MMA; he cannonballed right in. In front of a rowdy Parisian crowd, Doumbe sent shockwaves through the arena, and it took him just NINE seconds to do it! 🚀

Zebo hit the canvas like it owed him money, and referee Marc Goddard wasted no time calling the contest. Doumbe celebrated his win like he'd just won the lottery, and honestly, who could blame him? Zebo hit the canvas like it owed him money, and referee Marc Goddard wasted no time calling the contest. Doumbe celebrated his win like he'd just won the lottery, and honestly, who could blame him?

In Doumbe's words, "This is my specialty; I'm a kickboxer. He just came into it, and that was easy." 🤷‍♂️

Now, Doumbe boasts a perfect 5-0 MMA record, and he's ready for whatever the PFL throws his way. 🥋

He ain't here to call out fighters; he's here to prove he's the best. Watch out, MMA world—Doumbe's got his eyes on the prize! 👀🏆

Saul "Canelo" Alvarez turned Jermell Charlo's boxing dreams into a sitcom 🥊📺

Charlo, attempting to leap two weight classes, spent most of the fight dodging Canelo like White Goodman.

Canelo, on the other hand, was relentless 💪🥊, treating Charlo's midsection like a punching bag . At one point, he even gave Charlo a lesson in gravity, knocking him down in the seventh round .

In the end, the judges' scorecards looked more one-sided than a toddler's game of hide-and-seek: 119-108, 118-109, 118-109 in favor of Canelo 📝📈. He declared, "Nobody can beat this Canelo," and challenged anyone, even Bigfoot, to a match 🦶👣.

Charlo, on the other hand, might want to explore a career in interpretive dance 💃🕺. As for Canelo, the world eagerly awaits his next opponent, whether it's a welterweight with a jetpack or someone brave enough to face the dancing boxing sensation 🌎🥊

In the boxing world, they say "blink, and you'll miss it."

Well, in Curmel Moton's pro debut, you could've blinked twice and missed the whole show! 🥊💨

Floyd "Money" Mayweather's protege, barely old enough to vote, stormed into the ring, leaving his opponent, Ezequiel Flores, more bewildered than a cat at a dog show! 🐱🐶

Moton swung faster than a hummingbird on espresso. 💥 Body shot! 💥 Three-punch combo! 💥 Down goes Flores! The ref had a tougher time stopping Moton's flurry than trying to catch a greased pig! 🏃‍♂️🐖

Floyd "Money" Mayweather's protege, barely old enough to vote, stormed into the ring, leaving his opponent, Ezequiel Flores, more bewildered than a cat at a dog show! 🐱🐶

Moton's debut was a speedster's dream, with Mayweather as his Yoda. Comparisons to Inoue? Moton says, "I'll be bigger and better!" 🌟💪

So, boxing fans, buckle up! Curmel Moton's debut was a lightning round of excitement. Don't blink; you might miss the sequel! ⚡👀 

PFL Paris Round-up 🥊🤼‍♂️

In the left corner, we've got Ditcheva, the British Muay Thai champ turned flyweight dynamo. She outclassed Cornelia Holm, landing more strikes than Jason Belmonte 🎳💥 

The finale's on December 8th, and she's ready to snatch that $100,000 prize, doing a Haaland-style victory meditation🧘‍♂️

In the right corner, it's Powell, the London engineer turned light-heavyweight sensation. He was so confident he quit his day job! Powell danced around Daniel Ladero like he was auditioning for Strictly Come Dancing, then faced off with Jakob Nedoh for the finals. These fighters are on fire! 🔥💃

But wait, there's more! John Mitchell made Ireland proud in the lightweight semis, and Dublin's got its homeboy, Frans Mlambo, duking it out in the bantamweight finals. They're all one step away from fame and fortune in the PFL's global circuit. Bring it on, champs! 💰🌍

MMA: Where 'wincing in pain' meets victory celebrations and engineers become cage fighters, Don’t miss the show in Dublin on December 8^th  

💥📺Cage Warriors round-up🥊📺

Cage Warriors returned to lock up the BEC Arena in the North West of England 🏟️ – you know, where they keep the wild fighters 🥋💥 and untamed octagons. This was their second visit this year, like a neighborhood pizza joint that just can't resist delivering knockout punches. 🍕🥊

he headliner featured a Swedish featherweight sensation, Tobias Harila 🇸🇪, facing off against James Hendin. Little did we know, this fight had an unexpected twist – Tobias Harila's arm decided it needed a break in the 3rd round, giving James Hendin a TKO victory. 💪🤕 If that doesn't earn Hendin a shot at the featherweight title, I don't know what will 🏆

Over at Next Gen MMA, Luke Riley battled fellow undefeated featherweight Alexander Lööf in a showdown that could've been mistaken for a Rocky movie. 🥊 Riley decided it was time to wrap things up in the 3rd round with a flurry of punches, earning himself a ticket to the "Fight of the Year" awards. 🎟️🏅 His teammates at Next Gen MMA had a mixed night, with only 4 out of 7 fighters getting their victory dance on.

In the co-main event, we had the battle-tested Matthew Bonner taking on the debutant Samir Zaidi. The result? A quicker finish than your microwave popcorn. 🍿⚡ Bonner pulled off a lightning-fast submission in the first round, leaving Zaidi wondering if he accidentally walked into a jiu-jitsu class. 🥋🤨

Cage Warriors, a prominent UK-based promotion, has consistently nurtured talent that has gone on to shine in the UFC and Bellator. Friday night witnessed their latest spectacle at Cage Warriors 160 in Manchester, England 🥊

And that concludes this edition of the Cage Chronicle’s! until next time, stay tuned for more hard-hitting news with a healthy dose of humour. remember its not the size of the cage that matters, its the size of the beer at the concession stand that truly counts. Cheers!